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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27146599">First And Last</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/'>Anonymous</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>supermega</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Eventual Smut, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Homophobia, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Romance</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 21:57:30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>5,482</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27146599</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Matt wasn't sure why he decided to attend the party that he was invited to. He had tagged along with Harrison, Carson, and Jackson despite him mentioning that he would rather just play Animal Crossing the whole night til they came back.</p><p>He felt like he needed to go.</p><p>He wasn't sure why though.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Ryan Magee/Matt Watson</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>9</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Anonymous</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Cigarettes Smell Bad</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Okay so this fic has been a draft for the LONGEST time because I didn't know where to publish it soo I decidee here would be good! Also I named the fic after a song name that reminded me of chapter 1 :)!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Matt wasn't sure why he decided to attend the party that he was invited to. He had tagged along with Harrison, Carson, and Jackson despite him mentioning that he would rather just play Animal Crossing the whole night til they came back.</p><p>Matt was seated down on the couch, watching everyone enjoying their own time. The only time he had gotten up was to take a piss and that's about it.</p><p>Nothing was interesting about the party. He had seen the same faces over and over again because Catherine had always held a party pretty much every week. He usually never attended them but today was different.</p><p>He felt like he needed to go.</p><p>He wasn't sure why though.</p><p>He yawned as he took out his phone from his pocket to check what time it was.</p><p>11:23 </p><p>"Hey Jackson." He called out to the brown haired man who was nearby, drinking and talking to a girl with red dyed hair. "I'm going by the little shit pond, call me when you're ready to head out."</p><p>Jackson nodded with a small frown. It was easy for him to see how bored Matt was, but he didn't question him.</p><p>Matt stood up and headed for the door in the back. Once he reached it, he saw how little people were out in the backyard. Before heading out, he grabbed a little brown bag that was placed on a table. He opened the door and quickly shut the door, passing by the small crowd near. </p><p>Usually when Matt would come to the parties that were held by Catherine he would end up feeding the Koi fishes she had bought. It was a normal thing for him, plus it was a easy way to escape the shit parties so it was a win win for him and the fishes.</p><p>"Hey Matt, where ya headed man?" Someone called to him.</p><p>Matt turned his head slightly to see who it was.</p><p>Carson.</p><p>"The pond nearby. Wanna come?" Matt said with a faint smile.</p><p>"Nah, I have to help Jackson find his keys. He told me he lost them again."</p><p>Matt nodded and continued to head to the woods. He noticed how little leaves were on the dirt floor even though it was fall. He heard the crunching of the few leaves as he continued to pass by the trees. </p><p>He heard the gentle yet loud whoowhoo of the owls nearby. He couldn't help but smile to himself as he looked around at the quiet woods. </p><p>He paused to take a big breath of fresh air.</p><p>A foul smell started to drift nearby. It smelled familiar.. </p><p>Smoke?</p><p>He heard the faint sound of water running which told him he had arrived to the pond. The smell starting to get stronger.</p><p>He paused as he saw someone sitting on the stone bench that was next to the pond. The stranger turned when he heard Matt's faint footsteps.</p><p>"Oh hey man." </p><p>"Hi." Matt said nervously.</p><p>Matt wasn't really the type to socialize with strangers. He rather talk to people he already knew since he hated getting to know people because it was too much effort.</p><p>"I didn't know anyone else knew about this little fucked up pond." The stranger spoke as he dragged the cigarette away from his face. "Just heard about that it today, some little shithead told me about it at the party."</p><p>Matt didn't respond. </p><p>He didn't know how to. Should he even be talking to this random ass dude? Should he at least act like he cares?</p><p>Even with his mind telling him not to, Matt sat next to him.</p><p>"I've been coming here for a long time." Matt finally said as he pulled out the bag he had brought. "I come here sometimes just to feed the fishes."</p><p>Matt opened the brown bag and pulled out a plastic container which held very small pieces of watermelon. He tossed the pieces into the pond.</p><p>Once the watermelon pieces hit the surface of the water, fishes swam towards it. The bits that were once there suddenly disappeared. </p><p>"Watermelon..?" The stranger said in a confused tone.</p><p>"Koi fishes. They can eat watermelon as a treat, but not a lot. It's like dog snacks, you can't always feed a dog snacks." </p><p>"What a nerd." The other said in a teasing way. "Didn't know fishboy had come to the rescue."</p><p>"I actually don't know if its true, Catherine had told me."</p><p>"Catherine?"</p><p>"Yeah." Matt replied as he tossed the last bits. He then sat back down on the same spot. "She's the one who built the pond and bought the fishes."</p><p>"How did that bitch even have money to decide to build a pond?" The stranger mumbled as he took a hit of his cigarette. He blew the smoke out of his nose. "I didn't even know she had built it either and aren't Koi fishes expensive? She must've sucked dick for that money."</p><p>Matt laughed nervously at his comments, rubbing the back of his neck.</p><p>"Oh sorry for my rude manners, we have a long old history with eachother haha.." The stranger said as he reached into his pocket. He pulled out a cigarette box. "Do you want one?"</p><p>"Actually I-" Matt paused and shut his mouth. "Thank you, but no."</p><p>The stranger shrugged it off and put the cigarette box back in his pocket.</p><p>"Do you not like them?"</p><p>"Them?" </p><p>"Cigarettes I mean." The stranger replied as he shifted a bit. "I can leave if you-"</p><p>"No no. It's fine." Matt said as he turned his head slightly to look at him. "It's completely fine. I actually don't mind.. the smell." </p><p>The stranger smiled at Matt.</p><p>"Hey dude, you're kinda cool. The last dude who came here started coughing and acting like the cigarette smoke was actually making him cough." He laughed at his own remark. "I thought he had COVID for a sec."</p><p>Matt smiled slightly at his comment.</p><p>Matt didn't like cigarettes either and never would. The smell was nasty and it was disgusting how the scent would stick onto clothing, but today was different.</p><p>He actually liked the smell a bit.</p><p>"What's your name?" Matt asked as he turned to look at him again.</p><p>"Ryan, and yours?"</p><p>"Matt."</p><p>They both looked eachother. Ryan's eyes were a gentle brown color, his hair was long but short at the same time. Matt hadn't noticed his soft facial features before until now. </p><p>Something felt weird when their eyes connected. He suddenly felt as if he was in a warm cozy area. </p><p>He felt safe.</p><p>Usually Matt never felt this way. Since he was an open about his sexuality, he was usually teased or harassed for it. He was never treated this nicely by a stranger.</p><p>"What are you looking at?" Ryan said with a smile as he moved his cigarette close to his pale pink lips. He took a long drag and slowly blew the smoke into Matt's face.</p><p>Matt coughed at this and turned away.</p><p>"Why'd you do that shit?" Matt said as he laughed. </p><p>"Looked like you wanted to do something man." Ryan replied with a smile. "If you're going to do something, then do it. Why are you scared?"</p><p>Matt turned back to Ryan who was still focused on Matt. He blinked slowly and closed his eyes, leaning in. He slowly met with Ryan's lips.</p><p>He felt Ryan's expression change from confusion to surprised.</p><p>Matt continued to lean more into the kiss. It started slow at first until he felt Ryan getting impatient. As much as he wanted to focus on Ryan's lips, he couldn't. He felt his heart pounding like crazy and his knees growing weak. </p><p>The smell of cigarettes grew stronger every time Matt got closer to Ryan. Even though Matt hated the scent, he started to like it. He wasn't sure if it was the scent or Ryan's lips making him dizzy.</p><p>"H-hold on." Matt said as he pulled away out of breath which caused Ryan to groan.</p><p>Matt slowly crawled on Ryan's lap until he was straddling him.</p><p>Ryan looked up at Matt's blue eyes for a bit until he looked down slowly at Matt's body, both hands at each side of Matt's hips. He started to play with Matt's shirt. </p><p>Ryan lifted his shirt up a bit, one hand now holding onto his hip. He looked at Matt's pale stomach and smiled. </p><p>"God you're so pretty.." Ryan mumbled as he leaned in to kiss at his exposed skin. Ryan sucked on the skin softly and bit into it until it left a faint hickey. </p><p>Matt moaned softly and started to play with Ryan's soft hair. He tugged on it everytime Ryan would bite into his skin.</p><p>"Do you usually allow people to leave hickies behind?" Ryan mumbled against the soft skin. "I can stop if you want."</p><p>How thoughtful.</p><p>"N-no. It's fine." </p><p>"I kinda don't allow them since last time I did, he got mad that I allowed it because we were both dudes, but I'm fine with hickies now." Matt stuttered as he held back another moan. </p><p>"What a dick, who would get mad at such a pretty thing." </p><p>Matt felt tears forming at the corner of his eyes. Why was Ryan being so nice to him? They barely even met. Not to mention that Matt was the one who made the move first. </p><p>Matt hated this. He hated that he was feeling sad for no reason. He hated that Ryan was being too nice to him. He hated it.</p><p>Don't fucking ruin the mood with your stupid fucking tears.</p><p>Matt bit harder into his lip as he tried to hold back from tearing up. </p><p>God why was he such a pussy?</p><p>Matt decided to lower himself even more into Ryan's lap, feeling something poke his ass. Matt bit back a moan and slowly grinded onto Ryan's boner.</p><p>"M-Matt wait." Ryan moaned, gripping tightly onto Matt's hips. Matt was pleased with Ryan's moans and grinded more onto Ryan.</p><p>Something about feeling like he was in control made him feel good about himself. It made him feel like he actually had control over his life for once.</p><p>He felt a vibration coming from his phone. He paused as he reached into his pocket, he read the name Harrison as it popped up in his notifications.</p><p>Harrison: i finally got Carson's dumbass in the car, please hurry up before he gets up and fights back</p><p>"I have to go." Matt said in a hurry. "S-Sorry for bothering you." Matt mumbled as he began to head towards to where he came from.</p><p>"Wait!" He heard a voice call to him as he ran but he ignored it.</p><p>He knew how this was going to end in. It was always the same.</p><p>Matt was always used. He always felt like he found a perfect guy and would eventually end up hooking up with them, but once morning hit, they were never the same. </p><p>They would either leave him or call him a dirty faggot. He was never sure if the person was ever gay or not. Either way, they always used him for his body.</p><p>It's better off being strangers.</p><p>Matt didn't stop jogging until he got back inside the house. He rushed past the crowd of people who were in the living room. He rushed for the door and quickly shut it, trying to leave as fast as he could.</p><p>He saw Harrison's car waiting in the front of the house. Matt walked quickly to the car, opening the door and going inside. He accidentally slammed the door which caused Harrison to jump.</p><p>"Somebody's in a rush." Harrison said as he started up the car again. "What happened?" </p><p>"Ah- nothing."</p><p>"How was the pond? Carson wanted to join you but I had to drag his ass around cuz I couldn't find the keys." Jackson said as Harrison drove away.</p><p>"It was good." Matt mumbled as he fidgeted with his fingers. "The fishes actually got bigger then last time."</p><p>"Really?" Jackson rose an eyebrow at this statement. "Is that possible?"</p><p>"Did the fish chase you or something? Is that why you basically ran over here?" Harrison said as he began to chuckle at his own joke.</p><p>Matt ignored Harrison's joke. He felt his heart beating faster as he thought about what had happened at the pond. </p><p>Maybe he should've gotten Ryan's number at least.</p><p>Or maybe he should've just left Ryan alone.</p><p>Either way, Matt felt dirty. He had barely known the guy and didn't hesitate to jump on his lap and possinly fuck him if he wasn't interrupted. </p><p>It was Matt's feelings taking control and not his bfain. He wishes he could control himself easier so others wouldn't see him as a slut or an easy target. </p><p>Matt rested his head on Carson's shoulder. He closed his eyes as he tried to drift to sleep but he couldn't.</p><p>Anxiety ate him up as he thought about the outcomes of this. </p><p>Would Ryan talk about how easy Matt was?</p><p>Or would Ryan talk about how much of a slut Matt was?</p><p>No matter what the outcome was, Matt decided to shrug it off for now. That problem was for later, not now.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. The Blue Eyed Boy</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I hope you guys liked the first chapter and 2nd! I'm almost complete with writing the whole fic so I might update it as a whole in a week or so.. also sorry for any typos</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The faint chirping from the birds outside alerted Ryan that it was time to wake up. He didn't have any work today nor did he have any plans but he always wanted to get up early. </p><p>It's been 2 weeks since the encounter with Matt.</p><p>For some reason he couldn't get Matt out of his mind. He felt like they left at an open page of a new beginning. </p><p>Ryan rubbed his temples as he felt an early headache creeping up. It was normal for him to get headaches randomly due to all the stress he had from work and family problems.</p><p>I kinda don't allow them since last time I did, he got mad that I allowed it because we were both dudes, but I'm fine with hickies now.</p><p>Was that why Matt ran away?</p><p>Was it because he thought Ryan would turn out to be the same like the other guys?</p><p>When Ryan called out to Matt one last time, Matt didn't even bother to look his way, he was more focused on leaving then staying.</p><p>But why?</p><p>If it wasn't because of that, then why was he in such a hurry?</p><p>Ryan shook his head as he tried to get rid of his thoughts from his mind. </p><p>Every morning when he would wake up he would question the same thing for minutes and minutes. Those minutes would soon turn into hours if he allowed it to.</p><p>He heard faint footsteps arriving at his room and saw his door swing open.</p><p>"Did you not hear me?" Mark asked him as he stood at the doorway. "I was calling to ask you if you fed Lego yet."</p><p>"I just woke up." Ryan replied with a yawn as he stretched. He quickly sat up and looked at Mark. "Did you?"</p><p>Mark rolled his eyes.</p><p>"Just get up and hurry up will you? It's already 10am, I need you to organize some papers for my channel."</p><p>Ryan didn't reply but instead nodded.</p><p>Mark shut the door on his way out and Ryan finally got out of bed. He looked at his mirror and looked at himself.</p><p>Not bad for barely waking up.</p><p>Ryan looked at his hair and slowly reached to touch his hair. He tugged on it slowly like Matt once did. </p><p>Something about that made him smile.</p><p>He missed Matt's gentle touch and his caring big blue eyes.</p><p>Another detail about that night was Matt's blue eyes.</p><p>His eyes were full of caring but yet sadness. One thing Ryan remembers was how Matt looked sad when he talked about his short story about his old encounters. He could even feel his body become tense as he spoke about it.</p><p>That moment would never leave his mind. </p><p>Ever since that, he felt the need to protect Matt. </p><p>Why would anyone cause harm to a gentle soul?</p><p>Ryan chuckled quietly at how easily he would forget about everything when he remembered Matt.</p><p>He headed out of his room and saw Max and Mark in the dinner table, placing papers out. Max was typing something as he looked at the papers at the same time.</p><p>Mark slowly lifted his eyes off the computer and onto Ryan, getting up from his seat.</p><p>"Look who finally decided to join us." Mark said annoyingly. "Sit down will ya? Or are you going to waste more of my time?"</p><p>"Calm down Mark. It's barely been 10 minutes." Ryan replied as he sat down in Mark's seat. </p><p>"Who's gonna give us those 10 minutes back dipshit?" Max questioned as he passed the stack of papers to Ryan. "Organize these papers and I'll type them in. I can barely multitask."</p><p>Ryan was about to begin organizing the papers until Max interrupted him.</p><p>"Hey where the fuck were you at Catherine's party?"</p><p>Max was there?!</p><p>"You were there?!" Ryan said confused as he looked up from the papers.</p><p>"I was there for a quarter of it but I ended up knocking out on the couch after a few hours passed by."</p><p>"Didn't see you there so I wouldn't know."</p><p>"Yeah because you weren't there."</p><p>"I was."</p><p>"Where by exactly?"</p><p>"I was at the pond."</p><p>"Oh with Matthew?"</p><p>"Matthew?"</p><p>Max looked at Ryan with a questioning look. He stopped typing and looked at Ryan again.</p><p>"Okay you weren't there then. Matt was at the pond for a while, I saw him go."</p><p>"Is he the skinny white boy with blue eyes and glasses?" Ryan asked as he put the papers down.</p><p>Now he was interested in the conversation.</p><p>"Yeah!" Max laughed. "Fuck dude, how would you not know who he was? He works for Mark."</p><p>"Mark!?"</p><p>Ryan turned to look at Mark and Mark nodded. </p><p>"Yeah he's like some secret editor of mine, don't you watch my videos?"</p><p>Ryan didn't respond.</p><p>"Okay now I'm a little hurt." Mark said as he frowned. "You're the main editor right? Matthew basically just reviews it and removes some editing you do and replaces it with his if it's necessary."</p><p>"Yeah, like when Mark needs to remove all the times he says the n word in a video." Max chipped in as he held back a laugh. </p><p>"Very funny Max." Mark replied as he faked a chuckle. "Hey, didn't you-"</p><p>"No." Max cut him off before he could finish. It's like Max knew what Mark was going to bring up from his past.</p><p>"Anyways, why are you shocked about Matt?" Max questioned Ryan.</p><p>He couldn't tell them the truth right?</p><p>He couldn't tell them about that day in the pond..</p><p>Right?</p><p>"I just thought I was the only special one doing Mark's work you know?" Ryan said as he picked up the papers again. "Can't believe I had to find out about this like this. Could've broken my heart at another time y'know?"</p><p>This, for some reason, made Max laugh.</p><p>"Should I have broken the news to you while you were shitting? Speaking of shitting, do you guys wipe?"</p><p>"What?" Mark and Ryan said in unison, both staring oddly at Max.</p><p>"Do you guys wipe..?"</p><p>"How is that even a question? Of course we wipe, where the fuck did this question come from?" Ryan looked at Max in disgust.</p><p>"Wait, Max.. do you not wipe-"</p><p>"Alright alright." Mark sat down in the chair that was closest to Max, cutting Ryan off from finishing his sentence. "Both of you hurry up already, I can't waste anymore time."</p><p>Max rolled his eyes at Mark. </p><p>"Why do you even want this finished by today? Look how beautiful it is outside." Max pointed out to the kitchen's window. "Look at the outside world and look where were at."</p><p>Mark sighed at Max's statement.</p><p>He turned around to look at the kitchen's window. There was a little bit of the sun's ray hitting on the kitchen floor. Mark turned back around and looked at Max and then at Ryan.</p><p>"Does it look like I want to be here with you two? There's bills that have to be paid."</p><p>Max rolled his eyes again and looked back down at the computer. He continued his typing and Ryan continued to organize the papers, passing them to Max as he finsihed.</p><p>It took a while but they managed to finish before 9pm. Max sighed in relief as he stood up to stretch.</p><p>"Hey man. You still throwing that party tomorrow man?"</p><p>"Yeahhh.. I wouldn't call it a party though, more like a gathering."</p><p>"Anything to get the cops to not investigate you breaking the COVID guidelines right?" Ryan said as he started to laugh. "Why does everyone insist in having a party during a pandemic?"</p><p>"Why are you so worried man? They probably were throwing some massive ass parties when the black plague hit."</p><p>"Yeah but difference with 2020 and back then was that we won't get brutally murdered for being a so-called witch."</p><p>Mark chuckled a bit at Ryan's remark. He flashed Ryan a small smile before he got serious again.</p><p>"I really didn't want to throw a party but it's the only way the Tucker brothers come by." Mark stood up and walked over to the fridge, opening it and grabbing a water bottle. He closed the fridge door and sat back down in his seat. "I invited them last time and they completely ignored me because it was a meeting."</p><p>"Tucker brothers?" Ryan questioned. "Who the fuck are they?"</p><p>"They work me."</p><p>"Where the fuck are you getting all these fucking employees? They all sound fucking horrible." Max chipped in as he sat on the couch in the living room. "Also how don't you know the Tucker brothers? Aren't you friends with Matt?"</p><p>"I talked to him once. I already talked about this."</p><p>"Well the Tucker brothers are friends with Matt, pretty good dudes, except they kinda stir some trouble." Max said as he started to untie his shoes. "Now, Ima sleep on this shit couch for the night cuz you dirty whores made me stay here for 3 extra hours."</p><p>A loud yawn could be heard from Max as he began to settle down on the couch. He removed his sweatshirt and threw it on the floor.</p><p>"Sleeping huh? Tired of all the fast typing?"</p><p>"Oh shut up Magee, you hardly even help out anymore."</p><p>"Anyways, you're coming right?" Mark asked Ryan as he stood up to head back to his room.</p><p>Ryan halted and thought about it for a bit.</p><p>Could this open a new chance for him to talk to Matt?</p><p>Even if it didn't, it's worth a try.</p><p>"Of course, I do work for you after all."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Easy Fuckbuddy</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Are you going though?" Jackson asked Matt as Matt continued to ignore him.</p>
<p>Matt was busy away playing Animal Crossing. He was laying down on his bed, sprawled out, peacefully enjoying the graphics of the game until Jackson busted in his room. New Horizons wasn't his favorite series of the games since it gave you quick burnout and Isabella was quite annoying, but it was good enough to keep him distracted from the stressful things in life.</p>
<p>"Again? Where are you even going?"</p>
<p>"With Mark."</p>
<p>"Mark?" Matt said in a confused tone. </p>
<p>He didn't remember making any plans or even talking to Mark. The last time he had seen Mark was at a red light. They hadn't even acknowledged each other.</p>
<p>"He's doing some.." Jackson paused, moving his hands in a circular motion as he tried to find the right word. "Gathering? I'm actually not quite sure but he had told me to come by and asked I could bring you along."</p>
<p>Matt sighed. He wasn't sure if he wanted to attend another social related area again. Ever since the day at the pond, he realized that he couldn't just go to places because he doesn't make good decisions.</p>
<p>"No. I don't think I am." Matt yawned and put his Nintendo Switch down to stretch. "Plus, he basically only invited you and not me."</p>
<p>Should he attend the "gathering" though? How long would it take him to get bored if he stays behind?</p>
<p>"Fineee. Hope you have fun with your little furry game." </p>
<p>"Hey! It's not a furry game." Matt argued. "Also there's nothing wrong with being a furry."</p>
<p>"That's what a furry would say." </p>
<p>"No." Matt retorted as he stood up to walk over to his closet. He grabbed out a a normal outfit which was just a regular boring white tee and some light blue jeans. "I'm just more open minded."</p>
<p>"Right.. hey what are y-"</p>
<p>"I decided to come with you!" Matt said as he walked over to Jackson. He started pushing Jackson towards the entrance of his bedroom. "I realized that I'd probably just end up getting bored and I'd regret it at some point."</p>
<p>Matt gave one final push at Jackson as Jackson stood outside of his room. Matt closed the door and told Jackon to give him 10 minutes at least to get ready.</p>
<p>He quickly got dressed and looked in the mirror. He thought he looked pretty good for having such a bland outfit.</p>
<p>How bad could this party be?</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It was bad.</p>
<p>When they first arrived to Mark's house, Matt awkwardly tried to stay by Jackson all the time, trying to avoid anyone that would pass by him.</p>
<p>Jackson was the first to walk inside the house and then was followed by Matt and Harrison. </p>
<p>"What a beat up placed." Jackson joked as he noticed Max on the couch, snoozing away. </p>
<p>Besides him was also Chris, one of Matt's many 'exes'.</p>
<p>"It's empty too." Harrison added as he looked around. "Where is everybody?"</p>
<p>"Max is already knocked out." Matt said as he walked over to the couch and poked Max's forehead. "He looks fucking hideous asleep!"</p>
<p>"Heard that." Max said as he opened his eyes and looking up at Matt. He sat up and looked at them. "Hey, Mark invited you guys ages ago, what took you so long?"</p>
<p>"Matt here decided that he wanted to come with us."</p>
<p>"Last minute right?"</p>
<p>"Yup."</p>
<p>"Well..." Max yawned and wiped eyes. "Everyone's outside, I just decided to stay here because I was waiting for Chad to comeby but the motherfucker never woke me up."</p>
<p>"Can you take me to Mark? I've been wondering where he's been, haven't seen him in ages."</p>
<p>Mark sighed and nodded. "Don't want to but it's fine."</p>
<p>Matt watched them leave and turned to Chris, who was looking at him already. <br/>"Who invited you here?"</p>
<p>"Nobody, which is why I decided to come." Matt smiled as he watched Chris roll his eyes.</p>
<p>Chris eyed Matt up and down. Matt knew where this was headed but decided to act dumb.</p>
<p>"What are you looking at me for? Do I owe you something?" </p>
<p>"No, but.." Chris paused as he looked away from Matt. "You've gotten a bit thinner since we last saw eachother."</p>
<p>Matt faked an aww and walked over to the couch and sat down next to him. </p>
<p>"Are you saying that as a compliment or are you trying to fuck me again?" Matt replied as he pulled his phone out and opened Instagram so it could seem like he wasn't interested on the conversation.</p>
<p>It's been awhile since Matt last hooked up with anyone. For some odd reason, he always seemed to try to fuck Mark's employees. It wasn't intentional of course but after he learned that Ryan was somehow also Mark's editor, Matt started thinking about how he usually ended up sleeping with people who were friends with Mark.</p>
<p>Though, Mark never knew of this because if he had found out, he would for sure beat his ass or get fired on the spot.</p>
<p>Chris laughed at Matt's statement and put his hand on Matt's thigh, squeezing it a bit.</p>
<p>Matt removed his eyes from his phone and looked at Chris' hand. Matt felt his heart statting to beat as he watched his hand slowly begin to rub at Matt's crotch.</p>
<p>"When's the last time we hooked up?"</p>
<p>"P-Probably around 6 months ago."</p>
<p>Chris leaned into Matt's neck and slowly began to kiss at Matt's sensitive spots.</p>
<p>Chris obviously already knew where Matt's weaknesses were at. They had "dated" not long ago but it clearly was never a relationship. Matt just loved calling hooking up "dating" because he never wanted to seem like a whore.</p>
<p>"W-wait slow down Chris." Matt mumbled as he pushed Chris away gently.</p>
<p>Chris looked at him, confused.</p>
<p>"Are you not comfortable?"</p>
<p>"Chris, we're in public, someone's gonna walk in."</p>
<p>Chris howled in laughter while Matt looked at him with a weirded out expression.</p>
<p>"Ugh dude, don't tell me that was one of your secret kinks."</p>
<p>"Nono, but since when do you care about that? Didn't we fuck one time in Catherine's bathroom?"</p>
<p>"Chris." Matt looked at him dead in the eye. "What's the difference between a fucking bathroom and a living room? Are you a complete idiot or are you just acting dumb to get me mad?"</p>
<p>"Mmm a mix of both." Chris smiled at him as he watched Matt turn away, trying to hide his anger.</p>
<p>"Fine. C'mon." Chris stood up and held out a hand to Matt.</p>
<p>"Where are we going?"</p>
<p>"Mark has a spare room no one uses, let's go put it to use."</p>
<p>Matt hesitated to grab his hand but eventually grabbed it. </p>
<p>It probably wasn't a good idea to fuck the first person Matt saw, again, but he ignored it, once again.</p>
<p>What was the problem anyways? He wasnt tied down by someone.</p>
<p>Thats what Matt liked about being single.</p>
<p>He hated being tied down to someone in a relationship. He would rather fuck anyone he liked or who he decided was interesting enough.</p>
<p>Being in a relationship meant commitment. </p>
<p>Which Matt was never and will never be ready for.</p>
<p>"You hesitated a bit, you scared Matty?" Chris joked as he led Matt to the spare room. </p>
<p>"Of course I'm not. I just over thought about it." </p>
<p>"Really? That's not like you." Chris said as he closed the door and locked it. "I mean, you do overthink about stupid stuff but not about shit like this."</p>
<p>"I know I know. I've just been feeling... sick? I don't know." Matt said as he sat down on the bed, looking at Chris.</p>
<p>"I would ask you if you want to talk about it but knowing you, you rather just ignore it." Chris smiled slightly as him as he headed towards Matt. He gently pushed Matt down on the bed and crawled on top of him.</p>
<p>"You know me so well." Matt jokingly made a kissy face at Chris which made him laugh.  Matt wrapped his hands around his neck and pulled him in for a kiss.</p>
<p>"Hold on, let's remove these first."</p>
<p>Chris started to tug Matt's jeans off and threw them across the room. He began to eye at his thighs.</p>
<p>Matt started to feel self conscious as he noticed Chris was studying him.</p>
<p>"What?"</p>
<p>"Nothing." Chris said as he pinched at his thigh. "Are you starving yourself? You look skinnier."</p>
<p>Matt rolled his eyes at his statement.</p>
<p>"Would it kill you to be nice for once?"</p>
<p>"That is nice, people would die for that compliment."</p>
<p>"Yeah but not someone who's skinny and sickly looking like me." Matt responded as he pushed Chris off as he sat up.</p>
<p>He began to recall the moment Ryan had called him pretty and praised his body.</p>
<p>Wait.</p>
<p>Why was he thinking about that at this moment? Even if he wasn't tied down in a relationship, he felt wrong. </p>
<p>He didn't feel right.</p>
<p>"My head hurts." Matt rubbed his eyes as he stood up. He looked around for his jeans.</p>
<p>He ended up finding them on top of the dresser and put them on. Chris watched him.</p>
<p>"Wait where are you going?"</p>
<p>"Outside." He muttered as he opened the door. "I need some fresh a-"</p>
<p>He noticed someone standing in front of him, about to knock on the door.</p>
<p>It was Ryan.</p>
<p>Chris popped up behind Matt and looked down at Ryan.</p>
<p>"Oh hey Ryan." Chris awkwardly said as he looked back at the messy bed.</p>
<p>Matt and Chris hadn't had sex today YET but judging from his bed thst was already messy, Ryan would forsure get the wrong interpretation.</p>
<p>"Oh hey Chris.. Mark wanted me to talk to Matt for a sec and someone told me he might've been.." Ryan looked last them at the messy bed and looked back at them both. "With you."</p>
<p>"Let's go talk somewhere private then!" Matt interrupted him before Chris could respond.</p>
<p>"Where should we go?"</p>
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